Phil Pearl: Mental Toughness Coaching, Training & Hypnotherapy .

10 Harley Street, 
London, 
W1G 9PF. 


Call or email me for a free pre-consultation discussion by telephone, without any obligations.

Tel: 020 7467 8548. Mobile 07966 377 478.

Email: phil@mental-toughness.co.uk

Enter A New Life!

MENTAL TOUGHNESS


Change is uncomfortable -

 

Coaching and training in Mental Toughness and Resilience gives people, teams and organisations confidence and a competitive edge. You are learning the attitudes, qualities and skills that enable you to perform effectively and thrive under difficult and challenging conditions. On this page, you will find definitions of Mental Toughness together with details of private sessions, public seminars and training courses for companies and organisations.

 
Mental Toughness
One to One sessions

These are challenging and difficult times but within challenge there are always opportunities to change, evolve and adapt. If you are absolutely committed to making lasting changes in your life and/or have objectives and goals that you wish to achieve, then let's get to work. Call or contact me without any obligations to discuss what you would like to change or achieve. Sessions are available in person or by phone/Skype.


Mental Toughness and Resilience for companies and organisations

We specialise in providing training and coaching for people and organisation development. Our courses are aimed at people in demanding positions and organisations going through changes. The focus is on mental toughness resilience and confidence so that you can meet challenges head-on.

We are qualified and experienced therapists with private practices in Harley Street. We have developed these courses based on what we have seen as a growing need for people and their organisations to be more resilient within an increasingly challenging and demanding business environment.

There is no new age mumbo jumbo here. We teach you empirically tested and proven concepts from psychology, behavioural psychology and biopsychology. We will challenge and change people's attitudes together with their thinking, behaviour, emotions and physiology. We aim for lasting and philosophical change in your people so that participants can put into practise what they learn on a long-term basis, rather than participants becoming hyped up for two or three days and then returning to their old habits.

Training courses are developed around the current and future needs of your organisation. We will consult with you to discuss the course content, format and objectives that you would like to achieve. Wherever possible, we are keen to be evidence based so that you can measure the results of your investment with us. Training can be provided on a day or weekly basis to fit around your staffing and operational needs. There are more
details on the courses and training page here

Mental Toughness Coaching 

What is mental toughness?

At the core of many of our difficulties are our thoughts and beliefs - we are what we think and we have the ability to change our thoughts in an instant. By changing our thinking, we change who we are and what we do. Our thoughts and beliefs also make up our worldview - how we see ourselves, others, the world and life's conditions. Our worldview reflects how we make sense of life and living - what life actually means to us.  We constantly need to refine, update and clarify our worldview, so that we remain mentally and emotionally robust to face the challenges of life and stay in tune with reality.  

Mental toughness is about exploring, challenging and changing our thoughts and as a result our emotions, actions, behaviour and physiology, so that they are productive and helping us get where we want to go. Mental toughness is a discipline, an attitude and a philosophy that we can use in many areas of our lives.

  • Mental Toughness is Existential Toughness; facing the challenges, absurdities and limits of life with courage, in order to find meaning and purpose in existence.
  • Mental toughness is a philosophy for life and living; having the confidence to face change and life's challenges head-on.

  • Mental toughness is realising our freedom and choice; taking action and accepting responsibility for our lives.

  • Mental toughness is a set of attitudes, beliefs, thinking and behaviour that enables us to meet our aims, objectives and survival.

  • Mental toughness is having a relentless commitment and focus on our goals; mental toughness is the ultimate in willpower, persistence and focused action

  • Mental toughness is having mental, emotional, behavioural and physical control in our everyday lives as well as in difficult and challenging circumstances.
  • Mental toughness means having resilience in the face of adversity and setbacks in order to preserve and persist with our lives.

The definitions are simple but the practice can be an entirely different thing. There are many more aspects, qualities and components to mental toughness and that's why it continues to be my main area of interest. For me, mental toughness is a fascinating concept and goes to the very essence of what it is to be human. Mental toughness raises many questions, such as

  • Why do we do the things we do, and often not the things we need to do or want to do?
  • Why do we sometimes persist in our goals and other times give up?
  • How do we stay focused and motivated rather than distracted and complacent?
  • How do we take action rather than procrastinate?
  • How do we stay resilient in the face of difficulties and not quit?
  • How do we turn anxiety and fear into confidence?
  • How can we make sense of our life and our existence?
  • How can we engage fully in life and living?
  • How we face life's ultimate realities of uncertainty, loneliness and death

I think the central question is, how much control do we really have over our thoughts and actions?

  • Are we really at the mercy of our unconscious desires and emotions?
  • Are we predetermined by our evolution, genes and biology?
  • Are we condemned by our childhoods, past experiences and conditioning?
  • Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

Ultimately, can we really change, and are we free?

Yes, of course we can change - we are human - but very often we will have to overcome our conditioning and the other factors mentioned above. Therefore, we must accept the fact, that change requires work and is often uncomfortable. That's why mental toughness is indispensable. It is my aim (whether you see me one to one or attend a course) that you will make lasting philosophical changes and develop new attitudes and beliefs that bring you long-term benefits and results; so rather than just be feeling better you will be getting better and continue to develop and progress.

Why is mental toughness desirable?

Mental toughness is essential throughout our lives when we wish to accomplish specific goals and objectives such as

  • Personal development
  • Sports and exercise
  • Studying
  • Public speaking
  • Learning new skills
  • Work and career challenges
  • Relationship challenges

Mental toughness is central to overcoming our unwanted habits and developing new behaviour, for example within

  • Work and career
  • Relationships
  • Weight control and diets
  • Health and fitness
  • Procrastination

    Mental toughness is indispensable for changes in our personal lives such as

    • Confidence
    • Phobias
    • Worry
    • Shyness
    • Insomnia

      Mental toughness is crucial in changing negative emotions such as

      • Anxiety
      • Depression
      • Anger
      • Guilt
      • Jealousy

      Mental Toughness Principles 

      Here are, what I believe, to be some of the key philosophies, attributes, and traits that encompass mental toughness. Many of these areas you will, no-doubt excel in - others may need some attention. If you are interested in mental toughness, resilience or confidence and would like to learn more, then send me an email at phil@mental-toughness.co.uk and I will keep you updated, alternatively register for the newsletter above. I also welcome any comments or observations that you have regarding mental toughness and your own experiences.

      Mental Toughness is indispensable! 

      Commitment

      If we are considering mental toughness then what are we being mentally tough about? Commitment is having a purpose and meaning in life, it is our goals and objectives. What we are committed to says a lot about our character and values. Our commitments are what we hold up as important in life. They are the things we are willing to go the extra distance for and suffer frustration and discomfort to achieve. Our commitments give us a direction in life, a target to aim for and a destination to reach. Being committed to something means we will suffer short-term discomfort for long-term gain. We will make sacrifices, stay focused and persist. If we are focused on goals and have a mission in life, then we will be more resilient in overcoming setbacks and put more effort into problem solving in order to get back on track and reach our objectives. It is having commitment that gives us the drive and determination.
      It is healthy if we have commitments in varied areas of life and not only one particular area, such as our careers. This is putting all our eggs in one basket. Other areas we may consider are our relationships, families, health, exercise and self-development. It is also healthy if our commitments extend outside of ourselves such as, political, spiritual, charity, group interests and social areas. Mental toughness starts with commitment.




      Responsibility

      Mental toughness means that we take ultimate responsibility for our thoughts, emotions and behaviour, together with responsibility for our decisions and the likely consequences of our actions. Events and conditions will of course have an impact and affect on us, but we are responsible for things that come within our domain of influence. Our thoughts are our essence.

      If we fail to take responsibility then we will tend to view ourselves as pawns and victims, we may blame everyone and everything for our conditions rather than take active steps to change whatever we are capable of. At times we may all seek to blame the government or this or that corporation for the way our lives are, but the ultimate responsibility is still ours.

      Responsibility is linked to control; we cannot take control of our lives unless we assume responsibility. We only truly become adults when we accept responsibility. We are responsible for how we perceive the world, for our thoughts emotions and behaviour, and therefore our mental toughness.

      Being goal directed

      Goal directed thinking and behaviour supports us in our aims, objectives and survival. Having established a clear sense of our objectives and where we are going in life, we can then ensure that our thinking and behaviour supports us and question those thoughts, beliefs and actions that do not.

      Tolerance for frustration and discomfort

      Developing a high tolerance for frustration and discomfort is vital to good mental health and an indispensable factor for mental toughness. We need to be realistic and accept that people and situations will not always be the way we want them and that conditions will not always be favourable.

      In order to achieve our goals and keep to our commitments we will often need to suffer short-term pain for long-term gains. We need to persist and maintain our focus. This is not easy by any means, as we are evolutionary hard-wired to seek immediate comfort and pleasure rather than long-term goals.

      We all prefer to be comfortable and not suffer discomfort. However, if we demand that we must be comfortable all of the time, then we will find it very difficult to persist with any new task or commitments such as exercise, studying and dieting. If we continuously tell ourselves "it's too hard" or "I can't stand it" then we stand very little chance of long-term success. Our need to experience comfort rather than frustration or hassle can cause us to procrastinate and put off everyday tasks such as paying the bills. So even though it is in our best interests to suffer some short-term hassle we may put it off, and as a consequence suffer more aggravation in the long-term.

      Having a high tolerance for frustration and discomfort means that we will develop the discipline required to stick with our goals and persist. We will need to challenge and dispute the thoughts and beliefs that underpin our low frustration tolerance (LFT) and build high frustration tolerance (HFT). The good news is that we can change; it just takes a bit of mental toughness and often some brutal honesty.

      Persistence

      Sticking it out through the bad times in order to reach the good times.

      People with low commitment give up easily and do not devote energy and resources to solving a problem. People with long-term objectives will do what ever it takes to overcome a difficulty or obstacle rather than doing only that which is expected by peers or convention. Having persistence means that we will continue in pursuing our goals even when the going gets tough.

      Control

      The perceived ability of an individual to have autonomy and exert influence over their destiny rather than experience helplessness. Control is a "must" for mental toughness. After all, if you are not in control of your life, then who is?

      People who have commitment to goals, believe that they have some control over their destiny rather than being totally helpless. If we believe that a positive outcome is possible, then we will respond to failures and setbacks by trying harder, increasing our efforts and problem solving. Of course there are some occasions in life where there will be no opportunity to affect a change, in these circumstances the change needs to be within us personally. We must accept reality and constantly appraise a changing world and our place within it. We must persistently learn to cope with new facts and directions in our lives. We must be relentless in our adaptability, ingenuity and creativity to survive. If we believe that we are in control, then we can relish the challenge of change. Standing still is not an option for mental toughness.


      Challenge

      The ability and desire to change and develop rather than remain static, viewing change as the norm and an exciting part of life.

      We are more in control when we see change as a challenge. This means seeing change as a positive event that provides opportunities for growth and learning rather than a threat to our security and survival or a distressing thing to be avoided. By accepting that things change and bad events do happen and are a normal part of life, we will adapt, be flexible and problem solve, realising that we need to change our response. The less resilient will complain how such an awful thing can happen and that they do not deserve such a fate and so resist adapting.

      Rational Thinking

      Rational thinking is based on the coaching approaches of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)

      Rational thinking is one of the foundations of mental toughness. In simple terms rational thinking helps us whereas irrational thinking blocks us. Rational thinking helps us to appraise threats and dangers realistically and therefore not over-react or avoid challenges: rational thinking is resilient thinking. and increases confidence. Irrational thinking leads to unhelpful emotions and behaviour such as anxiety, depression and avoidance. Challenging and disputing our thoughts and beliefs is hard work, as we are often looking to challenge and change deeply held beliefs about ourselves, others and the world, that have been part of us for most of our lives. Changing our thinking and beliefs leads to emotional, behavioural, physiological and most importantly philosophical change. Philosophical change is deep permanent change; you will view yourself, others and the world differently. Here are some essential differences between irrational and rational thinking:

      Irrational Thinking

      • Is rigid and extreme
      • Distorts and misrepresents reality, is not supported by the available evidence; exaggerates negative attributes out of proportion
      • Develops low tolerance for frustration and discomfort
      • Creates extreme emotions that persist, distress and immobilise
      • Contains illogical and depreciating ways of evaluating oneself, others and the world
      • Prevents oneself from achieving goals and purposes
      • Leads to counter-productive and harmful behaviours for oneself and others

      Rational Thinking

      • Is flexible and non-extreme
      • Based on reality and available evidence; emphasises seeing things as they really are, keeping negative attributes in perspective
      • Develops high tolerance for frustration and discomfort
      • Creates emotions that are appropriate and can be handled
      • Contains logical and accepting ways of evaluating oneself, others and the world
      • Helps oneself to achieve goals and purposes
      • Leads to behaviour which promotes aims, objectives and survival; not harmful to others

      Thoughts, beliefs, emotions, behaviour, physiology and the environment

      Even though we are focusing on mental toughness, we must not restrict ourselves to the view that "if we only think the right things, everything will be fine". That's clearly nonsense and "magical thinking". Nothing happens in isolation. We need to look at the affects and interplay between our thoughts/beliefs, emotions, behaviour, physiology and the environment. Similarly having intellectual insight is not enough; we must act, change our behaviour and have evidence of effective and lasting change - philosophical change.

      Preferring not demanding

      Demands, musts, have to's ought to's and unconditional shoulds are inflexible and rigid beliefs. Often we are disturbed - or more accurately - we disturb ourselves by turning a flexible and rational preference in to a rigid and irrational demand. For example:

      "I would prefer everyone to like me, therefore they have to".

      Demanding beliefs can be about ourselves, others and the world. If we hold these rigid beliefs and demand that things must or must not happen, in order for us to be happy; then it is inevitable that we will become upset when things do not go our way. Having rigid beliefs and rules can make us anxious, frustrated and depressed. Demands will often contain the words "must" and "should". For example:

      "Everyone must like and approve of me"

      If we hold rigid beliefs and views about ourselves, other people or the world, then it is more likely that we will be upset and come into conflict. Having preferences rather than demands helps us develop confidence and mental toughness. Preferences are flexible ideas regarding how we would like things to be, without demanding and insisting that they must always be that way. If our beliefs are more flexible and are held as preferences or desired outcomes rather than absolute demands, then we are less likely to upset ourselves. We need to turn our irrational demands back into rational preferences. For example

      "It would be nice if everyone liked and approved of me, but they don't have to".

      Rather than demanding that people or events be a certain way, we need to be realistic and accept that people have their own agendas and goals; they may not always share our views of the world. Demands are irrational and self-defeating beliefs that cause mental weakness. Preferences are rational beliefs that maintain mental toughness.

      Confidence

      Having freedom from unwanted doubts and a strong belief in ourselves and our abilities. Having self-efficacy; our belief in our ability to get things done and be persistent.

      Our confidence will vary from one task to another. If we believe that we can and will persevere despite our doubts and the views or criticisms from others, then we are more likely to try new things and take calculated risks. Having confidence means that we will progress, develop and move forwards in life rather than remain static and caught in the same routines or limiting mindset.

      Confidence is within all of us and is a mental toughness skill that can be constantly enhanced and improved. Success is often due to our beliefs in our capabilities. We may have all the skills needed but if we don't think that we can do it, then of course we won't. We are more likely to achieve what we want, when we have mental toughness and believe in our ability to succeed. By using mental toughness skills we aim to turn anxiety, worry and fear into confidence and self-belief.

      Call or email me for a free pre-consultation discussion by telephone, without any obligations.

      Mental Toughness: For Life on and off the Field

      Mental Toughness Coaching, Training & Hypnotherapy London

      10 Harley Street,
      London, W1G 9PF.

      Tel: 020 7467 8548020 7467 8548
      phil@mental-toughness.co.uk

      © Phil Pearl DCH DHP MCH GHR Reg.
      Hypnotherapy London
      Mental Toughness. Resilience. Confidence.
      Life Coaching. CBT Coaching. Existential Coaching. Hypnotherapy