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MENTAL TOUGHNESS FOR CONFIDENCE
Confidence is having freedom from unwanted doubts and a strong belief in our abilities and ourselves. Having self-efficacy; our belief in our ability to get things done and succeed.
Sometimes we feel that we are on top of the world and nothing can stop us, we are confident and in full flow. When we are confident and self-assured we suffer less stress and worry; we feel that we will cope with whatever problems or challenges are ahead of us. Over time our lives develop and change, new challenges present themselves, maybe a change in our relationships or careers. During these times our confidence and self-esteem may need a boost. If we lose our belief in our resources and abilities, our confidence will be diminished. We may feel that we no longer have the control over our lives we desire and have difficulty accessing the resources we need to cope and succeed. Everyone goes through these "ups and downs" that's just the way life is; in fact I would say that it is hard to know when you are "up" if you haven't experienced being "down".
Our confidence will vary from one task to another. Our confidence is linked to how we perceive changes and threats to our comfort zones and our perceived ability to cope. Our confidence determines how safe we feel in the world. If we believe that we can and will persevere despite our doubts and the views or criticisms from others, then we are more likely to try new things and take calculated risks. Having confidence gives us optimism about the future, whereas a lack of confidence is linked to pessimism and depression. We need Mental Toughness and confidence to overcome our limitations and challenge any self-imposed boundaries.
Here are some of the areas where I can help you increase your confidence
Confidence at work
Confidence for sales
Confidence for presentations
Confidence for interviews
Confidence in customer and client relationships
Confidence in communicating with people
Confidence for communicating with difficult people
Confidence for exams
Confidence in the performing arts
Confidence for sport
Confidence refusing requests
Confidence making requests
Confidence in social situations
Confidence in starting relationships
Confidence in ending relationships
Confidence in being alone
Confidence dealing with change
Confidence in dealing with uncertainty
Confidence to be who you are and accept yourself
How can Hypnotherapy help?
Hypnotherapy enhances confidence and reduces stress and anxiety. Our unconscious mind contains all of our experiences and learning, this means that we have a whole storehouse of resources and potential that we can use to help us in the present and the future. We can tap in to all the resources we used in our "up" times and make use of them to dig us out of our "down" times. We can use these resources to give us increased confidence in times of need when we face new challenges. The creative unconscious is the greatest force for change known to man. This is because it is here, in the unconscious mind, that we problem solve and access all of our creativity and intelligence to find the new solutions, which give us, confidence.
Hypnotherapy gives us a direct line to all these unconscious resources. In hypnosis we can mentally rehearse and test future events and gain confidence and certainty. We can rehearse everything from business presentations to sport, even making a phone call or having a date. During hypnosis we can give ourselves realistic, positive suggestions to overcome doubt and worry; we can upgrade our thinking from anxiety to confidence. Hypnotherapy helps us to remove old and outdated patterns of thinking, emotions and behaviour that held us back and kept us in the past. The techniques used in hypnotherapy help us to enhance our confidence - to get on track and stay on track.
How can Rational Thinking help?
Rational thinking is based on the coaching approaches of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)
Changing the way we think, changes the way we feel and act; our emotions and behaviour are a result of our thinking. It is not so much the events and situations in our lives that cause us stress, emotional turmoil and anxiety; rather it is what we think and believe about them. Our level of confidence is linked with our perception of the world around us.
For example if I am attracted to a person but do not have the confidence to approach them or talk to them it may because I hold beliefs that are unhelpful or irrational such as "I must be loved and approved of by everyone and I must avoid disapproval." Beliefs such as these are often held in the unconscious but we act on them consciously. I can change this belief to "I prefer it if people like me, but realistically not everyone will. I can survive even if some people do not like me." The key here is to prefer rather than demand, if my beliefs are like rules that are rigid and inflexible then, there is a very good chance that I will often be upset. By preferring rather than demanding my rules are less rigid and more flexible. Furthermore, my behaviour will change, as I can be realistic that not everyone will reject me and therefore I am more likely to approach someone whom I find attractive. This means that I will have far more confidence because I am no longer so worried about rejection.
It is also possible that my thinking may be somewhat unhelpful and irrational. I may have thoughts such as "they are bound to dislike me" or "if I talk to them, they will laugh at me and everyone will look" - not great for confidence. However, I can dispute these thoughts, as there is no real evidence to support them, I can ask myself "where is the proof that I am bound to be disliked? Is there a law of the universe that says I must be disliked?" and further "How does it follow that just because I talk to someone they will laugh? Am I jumping to negative conclusions and predicting catastrophe?" and "How is thinking like this helping my confidence to get a date?"
Having disputed my unhelpful and irrational thoughts I can replace them with more helpful and rational thoughts such as "I am a likeable person, many people have found me attractive and easy to talk to. If I don't ask I'll never know. If I hold on to my old unhelpful thoughts it will mean that my confidence will remain low and I'll have a lonely life."
Rational thinking is hardly a new idea but if we practice it our confidence increases as our lives become a lot less stressful and far more enjoyable.
If you would like to know more about confidence see the page on self-efficacy here
"If you are distressed by an external thing, it is not this thing which disturbs you, but your own judgement about it. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now."
Call or email me for a free pre-consultation discussion by telephone, without any obligations.
Mental Toughness Coaching, Training & Hypnotherapy London
10 Harley Street, London, W1G 9PF.
Tel: 020 7467 8548
© Phil Pearl DCH DHP MCH GHR Reg.
Mental Toughness. Resilience. Confidence.
Life Coaching. CBT Coaching. Existential Coaching. Hypnotherapy.